The Leekening: 2nd Quarter

12:01 p.m.: Made it halfway through day one. Ravenous.

12:07 p.m.: So hungry.

12:10 p.m.: Drank 3rd mug of delicious leekwater. Should start rationing.

12:13 p.m.: I have to pee.

12:15 p.m.: I have to pee.

12:17 p.m.: Became very dizzy and acid-refluxy from the hunger and was unable to restrain myself from devouring 3 cherries and 6 pieces of mixed nuts. Am too hungry to start the Leekening over from the beginning, plus I don't have any leeks left, so will just do my best until tomorrow night and then try to do it again without failing next weekend.

12:21 p.m.: I have to pee.

1:20 p.m.: Am fantasizing about yogurt. Is that normal?

1:25 p.m.: Considering hopping on elliptical or taking walk in miserable hot sun to distract myself from hunger pain.

1:36 p.m.: Am so hungry. The world is spinning. In retrospect, I should have had Dug chain me up in the basement like they do with "rippers" in the Vampire Diaries so I couldn't feed.

1:37 p.m.: Have just publicly admitted to watching Vampire Diaries on purpose. New, new low.

1:58 p.m.: I have to pee.

2:17 p.m.: Sat for twenty minutes in direct sunlight. Am several shades paler now as the sun only bleaches me, but have presumably absorbed lots of mood-enhancing vitamin D.

2:37: p.m.: Caved and drank MRM Mocha Something Vegetarian Meal Replacement shake to keep from dying.

4:30 p.m.: Emerged from bathtub after spending two hours reading "Revenge of the Nerd," a memoir by my personal hero Curtis Armstrong.

4:42 p.m.: Fantasizing about Longhorn's salmon.

5:00 p.m.: Drinking another mug of leekwater. Due to hunger, my hands were shaking and I got more leekwater on the counter than in the mug.

5:01 p.m.: I have to pee.

5:06 p.m.: Dug is home! May have run out to the driveway screaming "CORRUPT ME!!!"

6:00 p.m.: At Longhorn. Fuck.



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